Aaaaaaannnnddddd We're Back!

After nearly 4 months off (4 months!!! Holy Shit I'm lazy!) what else could bring me out of the woodwork, but the Pats Day 2 Draft trade for Randy Moss. Now, I thought to myself, this has got to be a good thing for Tom Brady and his boys right?? I mean, the only time Tom could go deep last season was when he was with Bridget and Giselle. This is guaranteed to allow the Pats to spread 'em five wide and let Brady pick apart defenses better than ever right? Won't his open up a ton of running room for the still green Maroney? But what about chemistry and team-first attitude?? Let's take a step back and look at this as a rational, Dan Shaughnessey-esque sports fan.

Randy Moss may be great for the offense on paper, but isn't this the same dude that said he'll play only when he wants to play. Wait, he also happens to be the same dude that still tokes up "once every blue moon." I also heard he's been arrested a couple times, something with his car right? Somebody should have told Bellicheck that he takes the occasional play off when he's not the primary receiver. Isn't he supposed to be some giant locker room cancer, a la TO before he started doing crunches in his driveway?? Man, the Pats are really starting to cut corners when it comes to adding hard working, team first players. Didn't they just draft some brawler in the first round on Saturday?? What's going on in the front office?

These were all the questions that flashed through my brain, for about half a second before I remembered that I'm a true Pats fan, and this was my reaction to the news. Arizona here we come!


Tom Brady's Sperm is Clutch [Deadspin]